REASONS WHY I'M SINGLE: June 2012

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

...I just tried some fancypants Wildberry Lavender ice cream and all my taste buds could think was:

...Oh man. Yabba Dabba Doo-Orange was the bomb.

...Whenever I see my sister, she does this to my face

[source]

...I can't even begin to describe the self-satisfaction felt when I came up with "RELEASE THE SNACKEN" to caption this octopus-themed snack:

...I then "called" The Snacken as my new nickname. Aggressively. As if people were trying to steal it.

...Of this:
me: you know what's hard?

eating soup with my left hand....

E: why are you doing that?

me: I feel like the Beast

...Last night I got hit full-on with a bag of garbage and my first reaction was "Oh, sorry!"

...The phrase "Butterfingers" could be a literal description of my life.

...When "What is Love" came on shuffle, I didn't skip it. In the year 2012.

...I just got so offended when Lionel Richie's timeless classic, "Hello" was not the first result on Spotify.