BECAUSE...

...I just failed so spectacularly at saying goodnight to someone. It was like the verbal equivalent of a baby deer trying to stand for the first time. On ice. But less adorable.

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BECAUSE...

...The first time I saw the inner sanctum of HBO Go I reacted thusly:

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And then I told my friend it was "like Narnia."

BECAUSE...

...I've never been more pumped than when I realized Martin Yan, from the MOST beloved show of my childhood (sorry The French Chef/Beastmaster) Yan Can Cook, is going to be on the Top Chef: Seattle finale.

You my boy, Yan.

BECAUSE...

...The second I sense that someone might like me more than I like them, I react thusly:

BECAUSE...

...My life:

I'm full-on Lemoning.

BECAUSE...

...I feel like this kid summarizes my life up perfectly.

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BECAUSE...

...This man is my newest source of inspiration.

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BECAUSE...

...I just referred to wine as "Mommy's me-time grown up juice."

BECAUSE...

...I just realized that the word "parmesan" is pronounced like "parme-jean."

And then I decided Oscar Night I'm definitely making Chicken Parme-Jean Valjean.

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BECAUSE...

...I am my father's daughter and just thoroughly amused myself by trying to make a fart noise with my hands.

BECAUSE...

...Earlier this week I caught myself making bedroom eyes at a pile of prosciutto.

BECAUSE...

...When I found out that Kate Middleton (aka one of my many spirit animals) is pregnant this was more or less my exact reaction:

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