BECAUSE...

...this is a text exchange happening between my friend (visiting friends in Alabama) and I right now:

E: There are 7 aviators, me, and Gretchen* in a kitchen drinking heavily and listening to Disney music

Me: Calgon take me away

E: Haha this is a dream come true

Me: I'm your long distance Goose, Maverick. "Do some of that pilot shit!!!"

E: Oh and we're listening to Danger Zone

Me: I swear on all that is holy that if you don't say "take me to bed or lose me forever" tonight I will disown you. DISOWN!

E: hahaha

E: Someone just took his shirt off.

Me: Listen to me.

Me: This is important.

Me: Are there jean cutoff shorts?

Me: Are there?

Me: Has anyone spoken of volleyball?

*Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent