BECAUSE...

...I am a college-educated, former English major working in the editorial world and I just struggled with the pronunciation of the word "poise".

BECAUSE...

...This is yet another gem of a text I sent:

"ACCORDING TO SPOONFORKBACON IF YOU CHANGE SIRI'S VOICE TO UK IT SOUNDS LIKE CARSON FROM DOWNTON LIVES IN YOUR IPHONE. I NOW NEED AN IPHONE. I DON'T REGRET CAPS."

BECAUSE...

...I'm going to have the theme song to this amazingly informative video stuck in my head for the rest of my life. ...Also, because I'm curious as to where Mr. Casamassa got his denim karate outfit. I think I need one?

BECAUSE...

...I get the classic Sade song "Smooth Operator" stuck in my head every time I look at the fan in my room, even though it's called the "Kool Operator".

BECAUSE...

..I just watched this from start to finish for no goddamn reason whatsoever.

BECAUSE...

...Because I just went on a ranty-rant about HBO's Girls.

BECAUSE...

...I feel like Ryan Reynold's character in Just Friends.


...Like...at this point in his life.

BECAUSE...

...I just checked my wallet to see if I had any cash. When I saw that I had $12 and some change, I immediately thought "Oh, tons," and breathed a sigh of relief. Without a trace of irony.

BECAUSE...

...I made the Sloth face when I realized that Benedict Cumberbatch & Martin Freeman, aka Sherlock & Dr. Watson, will be reuniting (sorta) in The Hobbit.

GIFSoup

BECAUSE...

...This is a text exchange my mother and I just had:

Me: NOOOO DICK CLARK DIED
Mom: This means no more new years
Me: We're going to be stuck in 2012 forever.
Me: THE MAYANS WERE RIGHT

BECAUSE...

...I would do this. Today. As a 24-year-old. Right down to the outfit and gleeful squeals.

BECAUSE...

...I actually thought the phrase, "Thank god it's Hump Day" first thing this morning.

[source]

BECAUSE...

I'm on Bloglovin'!


Follow my blog with Bloglovin

BECAUSE...

...I just made a joke about our air conditioner and how I need a tauntaun. In the workplace.


...And now I want this:

[source]

BECAUSE...

...I just searched the internet to see if Bill Hader has any brothers for me to marry.

...Specifically because I was hoping these moves were genetic.

BECAUSE...

...This is the song that plays in my head as I walk to work in SoHo amid a sea of models and fashion-types.

BECAUSE...

...I may or may not have written "things with which I may eat my feelings" on my grocery list.

BECAUSE...

...This is how I felt today.



GIFSoup

BECAUSE...

...I say things like "Nick Nolte - You, sir, are a conundrum."

BECAUSE...

...I tried to save a mouse in Madison Square Park this evening by putting a "protective house" of cardboard around him.

...To clarify: yes, there was alcohol involved and no, I didn't actually touch or save the mouse so much as I just dropped a bunch of things on him in an attempt to "help" him.

BECAUSE...

...I have a legitimate crush on Snackman.



...We just have so many shared interests - chips, snacking, architecture, riding the 6 train, fighting crime...

BECAUSE...

...This is an undoctored text that I sent my friend earlier this evening:

Me: I'm officially a million years old. I just shared exasperated disbelief re: some skank's outfit w an old lady on a bike.

BECAUSE...

...I'm very seriously considering being Post-Sex Ron Swanson for Halloween this year.

BECAUSE...

...I would describe the amount of jelly beans I've eaten today as "Reaganesque".

BECAUSE...

...This is what I look like trying to get out of any pool.

BECAUSE...

...I just had to use a calculator to add 66 + 66.

BECAUSE...

...my favorite sound in the world is the "pew pew pew" that happens when a contestant picks a Double Jeopardy answer.

BECAUSE...

...while watching the Sex & The City episode wherein Miranda goes on a sex strike and discovers the "perfect relationship", consisting of chocolate eclairs and Jon Stewart, I experienced pangs of jealousy.

BECAUSE...

...after reading about the vanilla shortage, I worriedly said to my friend, "I hope Ina has her 'really good vanilla' stockpiled somewhere safe in case of a vanilla-fueled Mad Max scenario."

[source]

BECAUSE...

...I just proposed opening a diner with my friend so that we could offer a dish called "The Code Red".

Why, you ask?

So we could ask people who get it, "DID YOU ORDER THE CODE RED?!"

BECAUSE...

...the last thing I've taken to bed has been an entire pizza.