BECAUSE...

...While hanging out in a somewhat trendy bar, my friend made the mistake of including the phrase "two houses" while talking to me. I compulsively and excitedly began reciting the prologue to Romeo & Juliet and running around.

BECAUSE...

...When I saw Aladdin was on TV I announced to all of the no ones in my apartment, "Well I'm not gonna not watch it."

BECAUSE...

...the last person, place or thing I talked dirty to was air conditioning.

BECAUSE...

...I wept freely during Kristin Wiig's goodbye on SNL this weekend.

[source]

BECAUSE...

...This conversation occurred:

me: also, on SNL this weekend

there was a Lazy Sunday Part II in which Andy Samberg & Chris Parnell bring sweet vermouth in to a Sister Act show and claim to take "more shots in tha theater than John Wilkes Booth"

me: which has lead me to a braingasm in which we shall heretofore refer to bringing liquor in to movies as "Boothing", "J-Wilkesing", or "JWB-ing"

or some sort of that

E: i like "Boothing"

it has a nice ring to it

me: agreed

A Ladies Agreement!

E: HUZZAH

BECAUSE...

...I asked my coworker tonight in all seriousness: "What is a 'Julianne Hough?'"

BECAUSE...

...I just tried to have an empathetic, reasonable conversation with the mouse trying to get in to my apartment through my window screen. While tapping aggressively.

"I feel bad for you, little guy, but there is no way you're living here. You're a mouse. I'm a human. What would society say? Ew. Go away."

BECAUSE...

...I just actively searched out "Emotion" by Destiny's Child on the interwebs.

BECAUSE...

...I just came thisclose to making my status on Facebook say:

"Dear Food,

           Do you have any idea how delicious you are? 

Sincerely,

Your Biggest Fan"

BECAUSE...

...Last night when I saw an open seat at the bar I did this:




...The bartender then told me he definitely didn't need to see my I.D. because no one under the age of 21 would dream of doing that.

BECAUSE...

...I just tried to send a text to "Whiskey".

BECAUSE...

...This conversation just happened:

E:  have you been working out?
Me:  hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

BECAUSE...

...The highlight of my day has been finding one green chickpea in my microwaveable meal-for-one.

BECAUSE...

...When I met a dog named Pizza last night I excitedly proclaimed "THOSE ARE MY FAVORITE THINGS PUT TOGETHER!"

BECAUSE...

...I actually had a nice day today. To celebrate, I came home and watched this.


 


 ...Not even ashamed of it.

BECAUSE...

...One of my most recent Google searches was "How old is Zach Wahls and do you think he'd date me".

[source]

...Because he is foiiine.